Second Draft essay

Brielle Cetraro

Enlgish 103-20

9-11-17

 

What should be the purpose of prison? To punish people who do “bad” things? To teach people how to make better decisions? Do we really make sure these things are being accomplished? The idea of prison is to both of these things and make our society better, yet locking them up may be hindering prisoners. Ex-prisoners are not taught a new way to live in the real world, they become dependent on prison for shelter and food, and we may be able to fix these things by incorporating more work  and education into a prison sentence.

Yes, some people need to be kept away from the bulk of society so that they don’t cause harm. Yet, how are we teaching them a lesson when their sentence is over so that they can help, not hinder, society when they get out? Many ex-cons will end up back in prison because they fall back into their same old lifestyle. Once they get out of prison, they go besides their old home where they feel comfortable with the familiarity, even if it is destructive. The ex-cons are not able to work to get themselves out of this old lifestyle because our prison system does not give them the tools to move on after getting released. We need to teach them real life lessons while they are serving their time so that once they released they can move forward towards a new way of living and not fall back into their old one.

Because these prisoners are not able to get a job or find a secure lifestyle after prison, they end up finding themselves getting locked up again soon after their release. Prison gives the inmates food, a place to sleep, medication, and people all around them that do not judge, but relate to them. This results in some prisoners not being afraid of getting themselves into trouble again, because they will go back to the uncomfortable familiarity of prison. Of course, these people are humans and need to receive their basic needs of food and shelter while behind bars. Yet, they are not given the tools to realize how much better their own life can be after their sentence is up.

What these problems boil down to is the ability to help prisoners be more prepared for after they get out. These people should be taught how to work using their own talents and skills as well as being educated on the jobs that would fit them best. This would possibly help them for their life after and know change the path they were going along. The issue of money to build a new life after could also be helped if prisoners could make money while serving their time. Having a full time job while in jail would help their community, teach them responsibility and skills used in the workforce, and let them earn money to help them get back up on their feet after they leave prison.

It would be beneficial to provide more learning experiences to the people in prison so that they can efficiently build a better life for themselves after being released.

 

Who Speaks? Who listens?

Brielle Cetraro

English 103-20

9-19-17

 

Tone is very important to reading into the speaker or author’s emotions. The tone can imply that what the speaker is saying with words is actually the opposite of how they are feeling, such as in the case of sarcasm. Tone can imply who the author is talking to or how they feel about a situation.

We can interpret the author’s voice and guess how they are feeling from what we guess the tone is. This ambiguity can bring a different level to our reading. It brings a little bit of room for interpretation so that each reader gets a little bit of a different story from the reading. One reader may feel a sense of sadness in the text, while another reader will sense anger coming from the speaker while reading the same text.

In “Mother Tongue” Amy Tan has different tones depending on who she is talking to, when she speaks to her mother she is a lot more casual than when she is with other Americans. From the tone we pick up on, we can guess who Amy Tan is more comfortable with and which culture she associates herself with more. We can assume that Amy Tan is more accustomed to her own culture and therefore is more comfortable speaking with her mother. Yet, in opposition to this I, as the reader, noticed that Tan’s tone almost implied that she wanted to impress the American cultured people as well, because she said she talked in stricter english when in their presence.

Brielle Cetraro_essay_draft one

  • WHAT is your story topic (not the title–this may not come until the end), but rather tell, as concisely as possible, what your story is about?

My story topic is about the prison system and how it affects people.

 

  • WHY are you compelled to write this story?

I have always been interested in jail and prison and how the syetem works. I used to want to work in criminal justice and even though I’ve changed my mind on my career path, it still interests me.

 

  • WHAT is your (major) driving point? Are there ancillary (minor) points that you intend to make as well?

People in prison are kept in a vicious cycle that keeps them in the system.

 

  • WHO is your specific, target audience? What other audiences might you engage with this story?

My target audience are people that work in criminal justice and people that work in the prison system or with the law.

 

  • WHAT is your rhetorical strategy? Here, cite as many possibilities that you can of the following appeals: pathos—ethos—logos. Explain in each case why the appeals that you cite are appropriate to your story. Does your strategy construct persuasion toward an argument, an idea, an opinion, a redesign—or perhaps a combination of these persuasions?

I am writing a persuasive paper which would hopefully make people have a different way of thinking towards the prison system.

And your point is…?

 

I do not think that there is just one central idea or concept that is meant to be in a narrative or text. I think that there are many points, just as important as the others that all come together to form a well rounded story. A writer may have so many ideas going on in his or her mind, it makes it more interesting, in my opinion, if there is not just one main idea that is being strung along. Many main ideas in a text keeps my brain thinking and allows one point to open up other thoughts in my mind. I absolutely think that the process of writing bring something new to the table, or shines a new light on some ideas we haven’t had before. There is no way for someone to know every single point about the subject of their writing. Also, if someone somehow did know everything about this subject, it seems like they would not be able to be creative in their writing and let more ideas come to them since they were already all laid out. I want to let my emotions and thoughts be free when I’m writing and that’s why I like the idea of having not one singular point. Also, I do believe that writing can be persuasive and change the minds of others, as well as our own minds. Writing is an outlet to write down your thoughts on a subject. If it is the first time someone is thinking deeply about a subject, they may realize their thoughts don’t make sense when written down, and that may force them to change their perspective on their writing points. Writing is also an emotional thing, and if a reader connects emotionally with a writing I think that they can absolutely change their perspective on something.

Why Write?

People write to express their feelings through words and patterns. Writing can be an outlet for people to get out what they want to say without having to talk to anyone. Writing is a valuable skill because it allows us to communicate with others. Writing can be helpful when someone is angry or upset because it gives you time to think and articulate yourself well. When someone has a lot of emotions at once it can be easier to write your thoughts rather than try to put all your feelings into words all at once while speaking to someone. On the other hand, it can be harder to express emotions while writing without facial expressions and the changes in someone’s voice, which is a downside of writing. I do not practice creative writing, only writing notes in class or writing to help me study. This type of writing does benefit me in my classes, because writing improves my memory of a subject, yet a more free writing would help my creative side. One struggle that writing poses for me is that it takes a lot of time for me to think of how to start what I am going to write about. One objective of this course for me is to be able to learn to write in a more creative way. I would like to be able to write my feelings or get better at reading books for fun. I don’t often read because I feel like I am so busy, but it is possible for me to read when I have free time and make it more of a priority.